Created March 11, 2021
I wake up in the night with chills.
Flashes of my nightmares are of the memory of us.
I can’t breath.
I feel hot.
My heart hurts
no matter how hard I clutch my bosom.
I think I’m having a heart attack.
I cough up red.
Am I bleeding?
Or is this something deeper than blood?
What crawls under my skin when I feel alone?
I must be infested with something.
A bug?
Did it invade my mind and trigger the dopamine?
A bullet triggered?
Am I shot in my heart?
What makes me hurt?
I think I’m dying.
I think I’ve overdosed on...
I might’ve gotten drunk on...
What am I wasted on?
I wasted time.
I should’ve tried harder.
I should’ve fought for us.
Now I pay the consequences
and it’s killing me.
I think I’m still in love.
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